Checking in...

I am so glad that a few people are reading the blog... sorry I hadn't updated for a while. I had a great trip with friends, a wonderful Thanksgiving with family and now am planning a much anticipated getaway with my husband this weekend!

This pictures of the kids were taken at my brother in law and sister in laws home the morning of Thanksgiving. They hosted a bruch for my husband's family. It was a yummy as ever. And I had to take advantage of this beautiful back drop! Thanks to Kristen (www.thehvidstens.blogspot.com)

After naps at home, we went to the Thanksgiving celebration with my side of the family which was equally as yummy and fun. The kids did so well this year. They sat a the kids table at all meals, ate their food and get this... took naps! The holiday seemed less stressful and a little more fun.

But lets get back to the vacation coming up with my husband. Do you take getaways without children?

I love them and think they are so important for our marriage and family. We plan to spend 4 days and 3 nights away. We are planning on spending time with family, shopping, relaxing and focusing on eachother. These times make me feel so special. And I'm glad I can take time to focus on Jay. He so often gets moved to the back burner because he is older than 4.

Anyway, pray that our time away is refreshing for everyone. And that I get ample time at Ikea!
Will return soon.... coming up is a book review for Fos on the Family.... stay tuned!

Thankfulness

I'm really am thankful.  The last couple of weeks have been hard.  The kids were crazy from Halloween candy.  And they were puking from the flu the next.  But I did it.  I got away.  With friends and no kids.  It was wonderful.  I wish it would have worked out for the other five girls to come but that just makes another girls weekend a must!

My friend Melissa invited me on a weekend away trip.  No kids, just shopping, eating, talking, lattes, hot tubs and friends.  It sounded too good to be true so when my husband was completely for it, I was in.  He and the kids did so good.  No one else got sick.  They went to Bemidji to bring our dog to the breeder, Christmas shopped, went to church and had fun together.  My mom watched our youngest and it was a success.  I've even been encouraged to plan another.  Yipee!

I think it is so good to take care of ourselves to be able to take care of others.  I am so thankful for friends, husbands and grandparents that make it possible.

These women along with a few others enrich my life.  Ann is a lifelong friend that has had great influence in my life.  I've watched her become a wife and mother before me and learned so much.  We have been together through sunday school, confirmation, highschool, Bible camp, college and life.  She is a treasure to me.

Alesha is like a sister.  We are both nurses which is how we met.  I fell down the stairs at a movie theater and sprained my ankle the first time we did anything social together in a group of friends... so she knew what she was in for.  She is my listening ear.  She is always there for me.  And she is like an aunt to my children which is such a blessing that her friendship has continued through all our changes in life and location.

Melissa is a friend that has recently come back into my life more intentionally.  We have known eachother for about 5 years but have not really been really close.  However, now we find ourselves in the same season of life and are intentionally putting effort into our friendships.  We have started meeting at eachother's homes once a month (she lives an hour away) and just letting our kids play, our lives meld and our thought and feeling spill.  It's great and oh so refreshing.  It's nice to just have someone to hang out with for the day and not let distance, naps or emotions prevent a good time. 

The other few friends are equally as valuable to me but I can expand on their special place in my life later!  I love my friends and am so thankful for them.

So the kids are glad I'm home and so is my husband and parents.  We work really well together.  This week is not much smoother so far but I'm trying to treasure each moment and give my kids grace.  We are in this together and have so much to look forward to this week and weekend!

Random Thoughts

I have had a roller coster of emotions these past couple of weeks.  And one would think that children that make such great/crazy faces would bring everlasting joy to my heart but they don't all the time.  Isn't that sad... how discontent we all can be with all that we have been given.

I made a conscious decision about a week and a half ago to fast and pray one morning for a girl at our church who was having surgery which included pathology that would confirm or deny malignancy.  I have had such a growing desire to minister to the girls in our youth group at church and she is one of them.  A battle in my mind started the moment I started to wake up.  My mind went back and forth from excuse to benefit this fasting and prayer could bring to my day.  And from the moment I decided I was going ahead with the plan I felt God had laid on my heart, my day fell apart and so did most of the week.  I let it get me down... I fasted from food and said only a couple prayers but guess what.... the surgery went well and the pathology on the growth (where the report could have taken many many days only took a couple of days) came back confirming a diagnosis of it being benign!  God is so good!  And that's when it hit me...  as long as we are serving the Lord, things are ok.  They may not always to be going well but God is so much bigger than all of that. 

Also one the subject of children.  I want more.  I know I want more.  But I also want to concentrate on the husband and family I have now and not dwell on past or future.  So there, I said it, I want more children.  I don't know from where or when they will come or if they only be the grandchildren or nieces and nephews I will hold in the future but there will be more.  For now, I'm ok with just dwelling in the present.  Loving and cherishing my husband and children now where we are at.  Oh the relief.

Sickness and friends too.  I don't always mind when my kids are sick.  I don't want them to be but when they are (like they have been this week), it gives me an excuse to lay low and veg and not feel guilty about it.  However, this weekend I have a girls weekend planned.  Shopping, sipping coffee, talking, eating out and sleeping through the night.  It sounds so lovely but my kids have been sick.  Should I go?  Everyone is on the mend and only one child has yet to get it so I think everything would go well.   Plus my husband is encouraging me to go.  He thinks I need a night away (he really is so good to me).  But am I being selfish if I go?   I hope not because I really think I am going to go.  I need this, I want this.  And I could get Christmas shopping started and buy my husband a birthday gift; these are all good reasons right?  So we will see.  I hope all stay healthy so I can enjoy nurturing friendships!

Also our dog is ready to breed.  This is one of the main reasons we picked the puppy we did.  She has great genetics.  This has not worked out in the past but we love her and she is such a loyal family pet so it hasn't bothered me.  I'm not a dog person so I have my preferences, like the dog doesn't sleep in our room, she isn't in the kitchen when we eat, etc.  But this is one of my husband's dreams... breeding dogs and I want to support him in it.  So this weekend we will make the decision whether or not to try breeding again.   I hope we do and that is works.  I really want something special to happen for Jay.  He takes such good care of us.

So these are many of my random thought.  They don't really make sense together but they are in my head so I'm glad I could share!

I Heart Faces- Autumn Splendor

Fall Adventures, a photo by janelleh1 on Flickr.

I had to enter this week's photo challenge because I love fall! I truly love everything about it. Pumpkins, leaves changing colors, harvest, cooler temperatures and the arrival of holidays with friends and family. These are 3 of my children enjoying a fall adventure. Head on over to I Heart Faces to enjoy more picutures of this great season!

This photo was entered into the I Heart Faces photo challenge – http://www.iheartfaces.com/

Children

Mark 9:37 "Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me, and whoever receives me, receives not me but him who sent me."

I had a plan.  3-4 children... mostly boys probably but two girls and two boys would be great.  Maybe adopted (because I was told it would be hard for me to get pregnant) but at least one biologically would be nice.  Then I met Jay.  He wanted alot of children, like 6 or 7, maybe more if God gave us more.  We settled on simply that we would like to have children.  I, of course, still thought 3-4.... you get the idea.

We thought it would be nice to be married at least a year before our first child was born but also had no plans of really "waiting to have children".  We also thought 18mo to 2 years would be a good age gap between each child. You can see I had a lot of plans for our children.  So when decided we were ready to be pregnant,  it happened.  I mean really in 3 months we were pregnant, only two cycles went by without getting pregnant.  This was a wonderful moment in my life... the fear of never being able to be pregnant was gone.  It ends up that I seemly have absolutely no problems getting pregnant.... don't worry about tomorrow.  I had spent my whole life thinking I was infertile and not trusting God for his promises.  After our first child was born, we had a set of twins 18 months later (perfect time frame) and a mere 16 months after the twins, we had another girl.

Wow!  So here we are.  4 children in 3 years... and I'm tired but extremely blessed.  And now it's time for evaluation.  Do we want more children?  I don't know.  I really think so.  Somedays I want to be pregnant now and somedays I never want to be pregnant again.  Somedays I want to adopt children and sometimes I think of the struggles that can bring too but sometimes I dwell on the blessings it would bring.  I want children to have a home.  A loving family and to be taken care of and be able to hear about Jesus.  I want all child rearing to be to the glory of God and I fail so often.  I need to continually surrender my selfishness.

There is also the longing and potential to be part of our church youth group.  To mentor and love other children, who have a home but maybe just need someone else to speak truth into them, to just be there if they need help.  I want this too.  Could these be the next children I am supposed to welcome into our family.   I don't know.  I am at a crossroad and not sure where to turn.  This is the life situation I am dwelling on in my devotion times or in my mind most of the time.  I am trying to not think about how hard my days are right now but to think about how the ultimate goal is to make children's lives count for Christ.  I have so many failures everyday but really want my life to count for the glory of God in children's lives.

So I want to receive all children.... but I am struggling with what that means in my life.  I have given up on all plans and have no current expectations.

I hope this makes sense to someone but it might be just a whole bunch of random thoughts and statements.

I heart faces-Black

Julia, a photo by janelleh1 on Flickr.

I love entering this contest! I should expand to my other children and maybe even adults but this is a must. Julia again but focusing on her black rain boots. This girl loves shoes and especially the boots. She would wear them around the house if we would let her. Plus she loves being outside so what can I say... This is Julia in her element! Go over to I Heart Faces and enjoy everyone's talent!

This photo was entered into the I Heart Faces photo challenge- http://www.iheartfaces.com/

Photography

I have really never dreamed of being a photographer of humans.  Animals and landscapes, maybe... but really never people.  But now that I have a decent camera and lens, I really wanted to take pictures for people for fun.  Meaning, if they have no expectations for perfect pictures and I have no expectation of payment it would be fun.  So I had the opportunity to take pictures of some friends.  While it was fun and a great learning experience it was stressful.  I really felt the need to capture perfect moments in time.  I did capture some but they were blurry or dark beyond editing repair.  Wow what a gift professional photographers have in their responsibility to capture these moments perfectly.  I love this challenge.  I want to learn, improve and continue to serve others in this way.  I am having fun taking pictures of my own children and family and hope the tradition started by my dad (recording family life through film) will continue with me!  Any photo tips for me?  Like in the above pic... I wish I had paid attention to getting the entire rocking chair and her feet in the frame... maybe next time.  Let's talk and learn from eachother!

Julia... my challenge.

How interesting that I "started" this post many months ago but didn't really write anything.  I know for sure that I had no idea what was coming.  To say she is a challenge can be an understatement but to say she is a blessing is the truest statement I can say.

This is something I started writing for her about 8 months ago...
You are my baby. What can I say as you approach 9 months old? I really don't know where the time has gone. You came as a huge surprise; one that was accompanied with tears. Tears of fear, anticipation and eventually joy. You came with a delivery that I can not possibly ever truly explain and with your delivery I didn't know what to think about having another daughter. I think for me, daughters are scary. I don't think I am yet the woman I or God wants me to completely be so how am I to form three little girls into godly women? But you are so happy and engaging. You love people and their faces... from afar. You are a mamas girl which I admit challenges me more than anyone can imagine. I love you so deeply and cannot imagine our family without you. At 9 months you are crawling, clapping, pulling yourself up on your knees and wanting any type of "real" food you can get you hands on.

The above paragraph brings tears to my eyes!  Julia is the first child I am going to write about as a contribution to my legacy files.  When I suspected I was pregnant with her I was scared and frustrated.  Scared that I wouldn't be able to handle 4 children and frustrated that my husband and I hadn't thought about trying to prevent pregnancy.  Afterall, we want 4 to 5 children and maybe more so why prevent it until we are there?  But with 7 month old twin girls and a 2 year old boy, the spacing seemed too close.  I cried!  As the preganancy went along, and I knew we had family support, the joy of having another child came.  It came slowly but as her birth approached my children got older, I felt like I had more energy and the anticipation of meeting my child was wonderful.  I also knew I had Emily (a cousin-like relative of my husband) coming to help with the three older children and the house for the summer.  (More on Emily later-what a blessing she is to our whole family).

We she was born there was a period of a few minutes we did not know if she was a boy or a girl.  On the way to the hospital though, my husband and I had settled on a first name for a girl because "you know this baby really could be a girl".  Julia-I loved the name.  It was so beautiful and timeless.  And when they said she was a girl.... I wanted her to be a boy.  This is not said to hurt her; just reality.  But at the same time, I knew my Julia was here and I wanted to meet her.  God had given me a good pregnancy and birth and God had given me HER.  Another girl to love, discipline and form into a godly woman.  I hope we are great friends when she is older because she has a great spirit!  From the moment I held her in my arms I knew she was meant to be here, be a girl and be mine.  I praise God for that.

What can I say about our Julia?
She is a smiler.  She can capture an audience with one smile a shoulder shrug and crickled nose.
She is the child who can capture a stranger's whole world.  I mean this literally.  People will just stop, stare, comment but will not leave.  I will finally leave an encounter with someone and they will just keep staring.  Seriously it's weird.  But they love her.  She has presense!
She is a talker.  She will be 17 months in 1 week and she speaks in sentences.  Ex.  What's that?  Whose that?  Looking at a picture of herself, "That's Julia, Mommy", and Hannah, where are you?
And she can get around.  Up, down, climbing... no problem.
She is helpful.  Bringing each person the right pair of shoes or whatever she my find; she gives it to the right person.
She wants her mommy; there is no question.  And papa Clarence is not far behind.
She has volume.  You never have to wonder if she just said something.
She love apples and m&ms.
She wears size 3 diapers, 12-18 month clothes and size 4 shoe.
She LOVES being outside!
She is a hugger.
She can sing most of Jesus Loves Me, God Made Me and Deep and Wide
...No lie, I think she just said "candy" as I picked her up out of her crib this morning; she wanted more than we would give her last night!
And we think she will change the world; prayerfully to the glory of God.

I love my life with Julia in it.  She has challenged me for the good.  Patience is a neccessity. And blessing abound.  I cannot wait to see all you will become.