I made a conscious decision about a week and a half ago to fast and pray one morning for a girl at our church who was having surgery which included pathology that would confirm or deny malignancy. I have had such a growing desire to minister to the girls in our youth group at church and she is one of them. A battle in my mind started the moment I started to wake up. My mind went back and forth from excuse to benefit this fasting and prayer could bring to my day. And from the moment I decided I was going ahead with the plan I felt God had laid on my heart, my day fell apart and so did most of the week. I let it get me down... I fasted from food and said only a couple prayers but guess what.... the surgery went well and the pathology on the growth (where the report could have taken many many days only took a couple of days) came back confirming a diagnosis of it being benign! God is so good! And that's when it hit me... as long as we are serving the Lord, things are ok. They may not always to be going well but God is so much bigger than all of that.
Also one the subject of children. I want more. I know I want more. But I also want to concentrate on the husband and family I have now and not dwell on past or future. So there, I said it, I want more children. I don't know from where or when they will come or if they only be the grandchildren or nieces and nephews I will hold in the future but there will be more. For now, I'm ok with just dwelling in the present. Loving and cherishing my husband and children now where we are at. Oh the relief.
Sickness and friends too. I don't always mind when my kids are sick. I don't want them to be but when they are (like they have been this week), it gives me an excuse to lay low and veg and not feel guilty about it. However, this weekend I have a girls weekend planned. Shopping, sipping coffee, talking, eating out and sleeping through the night. It sounds so lovely but my kids have been sick. Should I go? Everyone is on the mend and only one child has yet to get it so I think everything would go well. Plus my husband is encouraging me to go. He thinks I need a night away (he really is so good to me). But am I being selfish if I go? I hope not because I really think I am going to go. I need this, I want this. And I could get Christmas shopping started and buy my husband a birthday gift; these are all good reasons right? So we will see. I hope all stay healthy so I can enjoy nurturing friendships!
Also our dog is ready to breed. This is one of the main reasons we picked the puppy we did. She has great genetics. This has not worked out in the past but we love her and she is such a loyal family pet so it hasn't bothered me. I'm not a dog person so I have my preferences, like the dog doesn't sleep in our room, she isn't in the kitchen when we eat, etc. But this is one of my husband's dreams... breeding dogs and I want to support him in it. So this weekend we will make the decision whether or not to try breeding again. I hope we do and that is works. I really want something special to happen for Jay. He takes such good care of us.
So these are many of my random thought. They don't really make sense together but they are in my head so I'm glad I could share!
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