Wednesday, December 14, 2011
It beginning to look alot like Christmas!
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Presents
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Checking in...
This pictures of the kids were taken at my brother in law and sister in laws home the morning of Thanksgiving. They hosted a bruch for my husband's family. It was a yummy as ever. And I had to take advantage of this beautiful back drop! Thanks to Kristen (www.thehvidstens.blogspot.com)
After naps at home, we went to the Thanksgiving celebration with my side of the family which was equally as yummy and fun. The kids did so well this year. They sat a the kids table at all meals, ate their food and get this... took naps! The holiday seemed less stressful and a little more fun.
But lets get back to the vacation coming up with my husband. Do you take getaways without children?
I love them and think they are so important for our marriage and family. We plan to spend 4 days and 3 nights away. We are planning on spending time with family, shopping, relaxing and focusing on eachother. These times make me feel so special. And I'm glad I can take time to focus on Jay. He so often gets moved to the back burner because he is older than 4.
Anyway, pray that our time away is refreshing for everyone. And that I get ample time at Ikea!
Will return soon.... coming up is a book review for Fos on the Family.... stay tuned!
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Thankfulness
My friend Melissa invited me on a weekend away trip. No kids, just shopping, eating, talking, lattes, hot tubs and friends. It sounded too good to be true so when my husband was completely for it, I was in. He and the kids did so good. No one else got sick. They went to Bemidji to bring our dog to the breeder, Christmas shopped, went to church and had fun together. My mom watched our youngest and it was a success. I've even been encouraged to plan another. Yipee!
I think it is so good to take care of ourselves to be able to take care of others. I am so thankful for friends, husbands and grandparents that make it possible.
These women along with a few others enrich my life. Ann is a lifelong friend that has had great influence in my life. I've watched her become a wife and mother before me and learned so much. We have been together through sunday school, confirmation, highschool, Bible camp, college and life. She is a treasure to me.
Alesha is like a sister. We are both nurses which is how we met. I fell down the stairs at a movie theater and sprained my ankle the first time we did anything social together in a group of friends... so she knew what she was in for. She is my listening ear. She is always there for me. And she is like an aunt to my children which is such a blessing that her friendship has continued through all our changes in life and location.
Melissa is a friend that has recently come back into my life more intentionally. We have known eachother for about 5 years but have not really been really close. However, now we find ourselves in the same season of life and are intentionally putting effort into our friendships. We have started meeting at eachother's homes once a month (she lives an hour away) and just letting our kids play, our lives meld and our thought and feeling spill. It's great and oh so refreshing. It's nice to just have someone to hang out with for the day and not let distance, naps or emotions prevent a good time.
The other few friends are equally as valuable to me but I can expand on their special place in my life later! I love my friends and am so thankful for them.
So the kids are glad I'm home and so is my husband and parents. We work really well together. This week is not much smoother so far but I'm trying to treasure each moment and give my kids grace. We are in this together and have so much to look forward to this week and weekend!
Friday, November 18, 2011
Random Thoughts
I made a conscious decision about a week and a half ago to fast and pray one morning for a girl at our church who was having surgery which included pathology that would confirm or deny malignancy. I have had such a growing desire to minister to the girls in our youth group at church and she is one of them. A battle in my mind started the moment I started to wake up. My mind went back and forth from excuse to benefit this fasting and prayer could bring to my day. And from the moment I decided I was going ahead with the plan I felt God had laid on my heart, my day fell apart and so did most of the week. I let it get me down... I fasted from food and said only a couple prayers but guess what.... the surgery went well and the pathology on the growth (where the report could have taken many many days only took a couple of days) came back confirming a diagnosis of it being benign! God is so good! And that's when it hit me... as long as we are serving the Lord, things are ok. They may not always to be going well but God is so much bigger than all of that.
Also one the subject of children. I want more. I know I want more. But I also want to concentrate on the husband and family I have now and not dwell on past or future. So there, I said it, I want more children. I don't know from where or when they will come or if they only be the grandchildren or nieces and nephews I will hold in the future but there will be more. For now, I'm ok with just dwelling in the present. Loving and cherishing my husband and children now where we are at. Oh the relief.
Sickness and friends too. I don't always mind when my kids are sick. I don't want them to be but when they are (like they have been this week), it gives me an excuse to lay low and veg and not feel guilty about it. However, this weekend I have a girls weekend planned. Shopping, sipping coffee, talking, eating out and sleeping through the night. It sounds so lovely but my kids have been sick. Should I go? Everyone is on the mend and only one child has yet to get it so I think everything would go well. Plus my husband is encouraging me to go. He thinks I need a night away (he really is so good to me). But am I being selfish if I go? I hope not because I really think I am going to go. I need this, I want this. And I could get Christmas shopping started and buy my husband a birthday gift; these are all good reasons right? So we will see. I hope all stay healthy so I can enjoy nurturing friendships!
Also our dog is ready to breed. This is one of the main reasons we picked the puppy we did. She has great genetics. This has not worked out in the past but we love her and she is such a loyal family pet so it hasn't bothered me. I'm not a dog person so I have my preferences, like the dog doesn't sleep in our room, she isn't in the kitchen when we eat, etc. But this is one of my husband's dreams... breeding dogs and I want to support him in it. So this weekend we will make the decision whether or not to try breeding again. I hope we do and that is works. I really want something special to happen for Jay. He takes such good care of us.
So these are many of my random thought. They don't really make sense together but they are in my head so I'm glad I could share!
Monday, November 14, 2011
I Heart Faces- Autumn Splendor
This photo was entered into the I Heart Faces photo challenge – http://www.iheartfaces.com/
Friday, November 11, 2011
Children
I had a plan. 3-4 children... mostly boys probably but two girls and two boys would be great. Maybe adopted (because I was told it would be hard for me to get pregnant) but at least one biologically would be nice. Then I met Jay. He wanted alot of children, like 6 or 7, maybe more if God gave us more. We settled on simply that we would like to have children. I, of course, still thought 3-4.... you get the idea.
We thought it would be nice to be married at least a year before our first child was born but also had no plans of really "waiting to have children". We also thought 18mo to 2 years would be a good age gap between each child. You can see I had a lot of plans for our children. So when decided we were ready to be pregnant, it happened. I mean really in 3 months we were pregnant, only two cycles went by without getting pregnant. This was a wonderful moment in my life... the fear of never being able to be pregnant was gone. It ends up that I seemly have absolutely no problems getting pregnant.... don't worry about tomorrow. I had spent my whole life thinking I was infertile and not trusting God for his promises. After our first child was born, we had a set of twins 18 months later (perfect time frame) and a mere 16 months after the twins, we had another girl.
Wow! So here we are. 4 children in 3 years... and I'm tired but extremely blessed. And now it's time for evaluation. Do we want more children? I don't know. I really think so. Somedays I want to be pregnant now and somedays I never want to be pregnant again. Somedays I want to adopt children and sometimes I think of the struggles that can bring too but sometimes I dwell on the blessings it would bring. I want children to have a home. A loving family and to be taken care of and be able to hear about Jesus. I want all child rearing to be to the glory of God and I fail so often. I need to continually surrender my selfishness.
There is also the longing and potential to be part of our church youth group. To mentor and love other children, who have a home but maybe just need someone else to speak truth into them, to just be there if they need help. I want this too. Could these be the next children I am supposed to welcome into our family. I don't know. I am at a crossroad and not sure where to turn. This is the life situation I am dwelling on in my devotion times or in my mind most of the time. I am trying to not think about how hard my days are right now but to think about how the ultimate goal is to make children's lives count for Christ. I have so many failures everyday but really want my life to count for the glory of God in children's lives.
So I want to receive all children.... but I am struggling with what that means in my life. I have given up on all plans and have no current expectations.
I hope this makes sense to someone but it might be just a whole bunch of random thoughts and statements.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
I heart faces-Black
This photo was entered into the I Heart Faces photo challenge- http://www.iheartfaces.com/
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Photography
I have really never dreamed of being a photographer of humans. Animals and landscapes, maybe... but really never people. But now that I have a decent camera and lens, I really wanted to take pictures for people for fun. Meaning, if they have no expectations for perfect pictures and I have no expectation of payment it would be fun. So I had the opportunity to take pictures of some friends. While it was fun and a great learning experience it was stressful. I really felt the need to capture perfect moments in time. I did capture some but they were blurry or dark beyond editing repair. Wow what a gift professional photographers have in their responsibility to capture these moments perfectly. I love this challenge. I want to learn, improve and continue to serve others in this way. I am having fun taking pictures of my own children and family and hope the tradition started by my dad (recording family life through film) will continue with me! Any photo tips for me? Like in the above pic... I wish I had paid attention to getting the entire rocking chair and her feet in the frame... maybe next time. Let's talk and learn from eachother!
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Julia... my challenge.
How interesting that I "started" this post many months ago but didn't really write anything. I know for sure that I had no idea what was coming. To say she is a challenge can be an understatement but to say she is a blessing is the truest statement I can say.
This is something I started writing for her about 8 months ago...
You are my baby. What can I say as you approach 9 months old? I really don't know where the time has gone. You came as a huge surprise; one that was accompanied with tears. Tears of fear, anticipation and eventually joy. You came with a delivery that I can not possibly ever truly explain and with your delivery I didn't know what to think about having another daughter. I think for me, daughters are scary. I don't think I am yet the woman I or God wants me to completely be so how am I to form three little girls into godly women? But you are so happy and engaging. You love people and their faces... from afar. You are a mamas girl which I admit challenges me more than anyone can imagine. I love you so deeply and cannot imagine our family without you. At 9 months you are crawling, clapping, pulling yourself up on your knees and wanting any type of "real" food you can get you hands on.
The above paragraph brings tears to my eyes! Julia is the first child I am going to write about as a contribution to my legacy files. When I suspected I was pregnant with her I was scared and frustrated. Scared that I wouldn't be able to handle 4 children and frustrated that my husband and I hadn't thought about trying to prevent pregnancy. Afterall, we want 4 to 5 children and maybe more so why prevent it until we are there? But with 7 month old twin girls and a 2 year old boy, the spacing seemed too close. I cried! As the preganancy went along, and I knew we had family support, the joy of having another child came. It came slowly but as her birth approached my children got older, I felt like I had more energy and the anticipation of meeting my child was wonderful. I also knew I had Emily (a cousin-like relative of my husband) coming to help with the three older children and the house for the summer. (More on Emily later-what a blessing she is to our whole family).
We she was born there was a period of a few minutes we did not know if she was a boy or a girl. On the way to the hospital though, my husband and I had settled on a first name for a girl because "you know this baby really could be a girl". Julia-I loved the name. It was so beautiful and timeless. And when they said she was a girl.... I wanted her to be a boy. This is not said to hurt her; just reality. But at the same time, I knew my Julia was here and I wanted to meet her. God had given me a good pregnancy and birth and God had given me HER. Another girl to love, discipline and form into a godly woman. I hope we are great friends when she is older because she has a great spirit! From the moment I held her in my arms I knew she was meant to be here, be a girl and be mine. I praise God for that.
What can I say about our Julia?
She is a smiler. She can capture an audience with one smile a shoulder shrug and crickled nose.
She is the child who can capture a stranger's whole world. I mean this literally. People will just stop, stare, comment but will not leave. I will finally leave an encounter with someone and they will just keep staring. Seriously it's weird. But they love her. She has presense!
She is a talker. She will be 17 months in 1 week and she speaks in sentences. Ex. What's that? Whose that? Looking at a picture of herself, "That's Julia, Mommy", and Hannah, where are you?
And she can get around. Up, down, climbing... no problem.
She is helpful. Bringing each person the right pair of shoes or whatever she my find; she gives it to the right person.
She wants her mommy; there is no question. And papa Clarence is not far behind.
She has volume. You never have to wonder if she just said something.
She love apples and m&ms.
She wears size 3 diapers, 12-18 month clothes and size 4 shoe.
She LOVES being outside!
She is a hugger.
She can sing most of Jesus Loves Me, God Made Me and Deep and Wide
...No lie, I think she just said "candy" as I picked her up out of her crib this morning; she wanted more than we would give her last night!
And we think she will change the world; prayerfully to the glory of God.
I love my life with Julia in it. She has challenged me for the good. Patience is a neccessity. And blessing abound. I cannot wait to see all you will become.
Monday, October 31, 2011
A house in order Part 1
So anyway this was just the jump start I needed. Everything out and as little as possible back in! Our computer made a move to the basement and the kids now have a little space to call their own. I did not put as many toys back in the room and they play much more intentionally and even are better at picking up. This is huge for us. We have 4 children 4 and under and playing well together or alone seems to always pose a challenge. It makes me wonder how any more children will fit in but I think we need to realize that more children does not have to mean more stuff!
I have gotten rid of loads of stuff either to the garbage, garage sale bag or give away bag and it feels empowering. It clears my mind and I can function better. I can take better care of my spiritual life, family and my self! I love it. My husband loves it too. We plan to start shifting some responsibilities around as well so this could be big. I feel like we are on the verge of something big; just really refocusing ourselves and it's good. God has began a good work in us.... and will be faithful to complete it. I know this work began long ago but we feel like this is a new season for us. There may be more babies to come but it seems like a least all the children won't be babies at the same time anymore!
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Friends (cont)
One of the Bible verses I came across was... Exodus 33:11a "Thus the Lord used to speak to Moses face to face, as a man speaks to his friend." This made me start thinking. Negatively at first in regards to people who don't bring their complaints directly to a person. They just write a facebook status or blog post about it or talk to someone else about it. How many times have I done this myself... shame on me. Perhaps more conflicts would be easily resolved if we just talked directly and only to the person with whom we have the problem.... but I'm getting away from my point.
Friends talk face to face! And while I love facebook and blogs as much as the next person; I love my true friend more. They are part of me. Last Wednesday felt like the perfect time to put my thoughts into practice. I went to visit a friend. She used to live close and even attend the same church however since they moved (almost 4 years ago), other than emails, facebook messages, occasional phone calls and Christmas cards, they only time we see her and her family is when they came or were passing through. So I packed up all four kids (ages 1, 2 1/2, 2 1/2 and 4) and headed out for a road trip. It was a great adventure. It was exactly what my heart needed. I loved the visit more than you can imagine and I think it touched her too. We made effort to go to them, to see their new home, to play in their yard. What a blessing.
We plan to do this again tomorrow except with different friends. I want to make the effort; to go (even if traveling an hour or two can be hard with so many small children), to spend time in their life. I cannot wait. We have pizza, pumpkin carving and pumpkin patches and visits to the mall planned. I love these women and their families... they are family to me!
So love your friends. Make real time for them. Love on them. Talk FACE to FACE with them and your hearts will bond!
Monday, October 24, 2011
I Heart Faces Photo Challenge- Let them be little.
So here's mine this week. Julia.... our littlest one!
Julia may be little but she has a BIG personality. Sometimes I don't know what to do with her but at other times she does nothing but awe me and make me laugh. Oh what a challenge she is but what an even bigger blessing!
This photo was entered into the I Heart Faces photo challenge – www.iheartfaces.com
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Friends vs Enemies
The above photo was taken because I had a friend call and ask if she could just come to visit and bring me cookies to bake. Can you? Sure.
To be continued...
Monday, October 17, 2011
I Heart Faces-Tickled Pink (Stop breast cancer!)
Both of my parental grandparents died from breast cancer. What are the odds of that? They were quite young (i think my grandfather was in his fifties and my grandmother was maybe 60). I never knew them. They had died many years before I was born. My grandfather died the week before my parents got married... that is so hard for me to comprehend. This has made cancer close to my heart.
A mere 6 months into my nursing career, I started working on the cancer unit of a hospital, eventually giving chemotherapy to patients there and then continuing chemotherapy administration in a clinic setting. What a blessing this was in my life! I know it seems like it would be sad work but it was so rewarding. We became like family to our patients and we'd look forward to seeing them and were saddened by any bad news they received but rejoiced with them when good news came. I would never change those years for anything. I still sometimes wish I was still serving patients there but am happy to be at home taking care of my family now too. Breast cancer is truly close to my heart and I would love to be able to "Stop breast cancer"! This photo was entered into the I Heart Faces Photo Challenge-http://www.iheartfaces.com/
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Where I began.
My grandparents and parents are or were(meaning they are in heaven now) followers of Christ. How awesome is that. That doesn't mean there were not struggles. There were many... financial difficulties, divorce and remarriage, miscarriages, untimely deaths, unplanned pregnancies, etc. These struggles formed us but do not define us. I think we have let many of these thing define us instead of leading us to a new place of grace and healing. I know many of my childhood memories were formed and saturated with these struggles but I want to let them go and have them be steps to bring me closer to God.
My parents were Christians when they got married and are still married today after 45 years of marriage. Praise the Lord! My brother is 9 years older than me so the road to my mom's pregnancy was long and much anticipated. I know I was prayed for long before I was conceived... what a great heritage. I know I was an answer to prayer; why is that hard to admit. I have been told that at different times in my life but I don't think I've let in sink in. I'm not being proud; I want to be secure in God's plan for my life and to know that prayer were uttered for me before I was born is amazing! God has a plan for everyone of us and we are an answer to someone's prayer. We may not even know whose prayer we are answer too yet but one day we will even if it's not on this side of heaven.
I have always known in my head that I was loved but I didn't always and still don't always let it get to my heart.
So our heritage is rich even if our past isn't perfect and our future has so many riches yet to come if we as followers of Christ. Thank you mom and dad for being my most immediate heritage that I can be thankful for!
Treasuring our heritage...and leaving a legacy.
This is me. God's creation; a person created to glorify Him. It all begins and ends with him. Everything is about him. So how does that effect my life? I should consume all that I am. I want to be mindful of this and have it be the legacy I leave.
I want to journal about this in different aspects of my life. It hit me last night, this experience could be healing and helpful in my life.
I want to be a better woman of God, a better wife and a better mother, daughter, sister and friend. I am going to dwell here for a while and explore my mind, memories and dreams. I want to be mindful of everything I do, everything I say and everyone I influence. I think it will change me; I want it to change me.
I not a horrible person. But I think there are parts of me that can be horrible if not filtered through the grace God extends to me every moment. So lets begin...
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Fall harvest
We are in the last of our fall harvest but seemingly the part that takes the longest! These are the combines finishing up the beans but today we finally got the go ahead for sugar beets again. I have fond memories of beet harvest because it's the first harvest I was a part of when I met my husband.
I love fall and everything that it brings with it. Pears, apples, pumpkins, leaves turning brilliant colors and memories of falling in love. I always thought fall would be a perfect time for a wedding but God knew it was the perfect time for me to fall in love.
So here we go... and hopefully continually until beet harvest is complete. Pray for strength to be a semi-single parent (although our families help me ALL the time). Hope everyone is having a great fall!
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
I Heart Faces Photo Challenge-Hands
Monday, August 29, 2011
Scripture
Yesterday, it was Ephesians 4...2-3:Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. 14-15:Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. And 26-31(I will finish the rest in the next post).
We can so easily be proud and tossed to and fro. But I want to be anchored on the Rock, Jesus Christ. I desire for my faith to grow and bear fruit for and through my family. I want more, not materially, but spiritually. I feel hungry to grow in my faith again and I don't want to let it pass by!
Praise the Lord for a godly husband, who sees the importance of my spiritual growth and doing what it takes to give my time with the Lord!
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Oh how fast things can change...
Also, this week, Hannah and Bekah (2 1/2 years old) decided it may be ok to use the potty. Yesterday in fact was a big break through; they decided they liked underwear! I thought at the beginning of the week it was a fluke, but as of last evening, I think it's worth working on. I would love to have 2 less children in diapers for many reasons. But this too would end a season and make them seem more like preschoolers. These are all things I'm proud of and thankful for but wondering too how this next stage will feel.
Jack too is growing up so much. As we all count, say the ABC's, learn letters and numbers I'm amazed and overwhelmed by the amount of things children learn in such a short period of time.
So things are changing fast but I hope all for the good...
Friday, July 1, 2011
She's back!
In Jack's words..."our Emily" is back. We are so blessed to have Emily (my husband's cousin) here again this summer. She lives with my in-laws along with her brother who is helping on the farm. She comes to our house twice a week to take care of the kids, help with chores and bring extra joy into our lives. She is so fun to have around. I feel like I will get to know her better and just enjoy her presence this summer as last summer Julia's was a newborn and I was consumed with her care.
We have already had some adventures... we went to our local county park yesterday and played, did some swinging and swimming but I forgot towels, lifejacket, etc. It was still fun especially for our first real summer day. It was high humidity and 90 degree temps so we played in water all day and cooked outside plus tried to stay hydrated.
They are a tough crowd but they had fun. We didn't get pics of the sprinkler or appliance moving for cleaning (long story with laughter) but they were great too. I plan to repaint my entry so we started with removing some uppercase living letters from the wall and Emily transferred them to a mirror so I can still use them in the redecorating process... this will be separate post.
Anyway... we are so glad to have Emily with us again this summer. I hope to document her stay better this time around.
Hope everyone has a happy and safe 4th of July weekend! Enjoy.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
It's time to detox!
So I went to my chiropractor. Now this was a HUGE step for me. The Nutritional Response Testing that he does seemed like a hoax to me. But when all my labs were back and his guess to what was wrong and treatment was presented to me, I could not deny it's accuracy and validity. Long story short... low iron, low vit d, thyroid disfunction, low vit b and possible gluten intolerance. Other than the gluten intolerance, none of this surprised me (and I plan to expand this subject in a separate post). I cried when he said he thought he could help me! Many doctors have told me for year that there is nothing wrong! (and I always knew there was)
So fast forward... I accepted treatment. Some of these things have been life long and the rest were only adding to my overall poor health. I was ready. So on June 1st, 2011 I began a new journey. My first plan of action was the Standard Process Purification Program.
Let me just say, it was hard but so worth it. I think I would like to make it a once a year thing if we can handle the cost. So this was a three week program which toward the end of a found out that I was highly gluten intolerant... but I feel better. I'm not even sure what a 100% improvement looks like but I'm definitely a percentage closer! I hope to continue with this program which I will expand on later but my hope is that through documentation of this journey and other happenings in our lives, I will help someone.