Christmas 2014 is coming!  We had a nice Thanksgiving celebration plus a fun weekend adventure of cutting down our own tree.  It all went much better than anticipated which is wonderful!  This is the kids with my parents at the tree farm.

I'm having some holiday blues which is kind of odd for me.  It seems as though celebrations have been stressful in the past but now they are just tiring.  Although it seems like the kids require less and less "help", they still need to be managed.  But there is rest in the Lord.

I am hoping this year to really focus on slowing down, simplifying and truly focusing on the Advent season as it progresses through scripture.  My hope is this will really center me and our family on Christ and others instead of busyness and materialism.  I desire for peace, joy and truth… pray and focus on scripture with me this advent season.

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Life

Isn't this the truth.  This is just a little quote I came across on a blog that I follow.  It is so true.  We do this.  I find myself doing this even today.  We have a house full of sick kids and a couple of sleep deprived parents.  I find my fuse very short this round of illness.  I'm usually right on task as helping people that are sick was my lifes work for so long.  My nighttime shift has always been a little hard but this one seems nearly impossible.  I'm out of sync.  For some reason, my body just won't adjust to this one.  And our youngest is trying me to the moon and back.

And I think I'm being tempted, tempted to be less Christ-like than I desire... and I'm not winning.  I want to be kind and loving but my words and actions just are not there sometimes.  I'm studying James; I want my life to reflect the words in this book of the Bible.  I also want my husband's work at our church to be fruitful and give him the time he needs for that to be guilt-free.  I want my husband to also be able to full fill his dream of having a productive adventure with animals on our farm.  And I want to be an active part of saving the lives of unborn babies and the lives of their families.  I want to be a great wife and mom.  I believe God desires all these things for us too and I think because our desire to bring glory to God in all these things, we are being tempted... being tempted to give up.  But I won't.

I really want my whole life to be a wonderful story.  Even the darkest of nights.  But I have to remember that everyone has challenges and struggles and that I'm not in this alone and I don't need to compare especially my struggles with everyone's triumphs.  I need to LEARN to give thanks in every situation. 

I will go back now to my puking kids, baskets of laundry and be grateful.  Grateful that I have a family. And be thankful that my behind-the-scenes acts with ultimately one day be the best hightlight reel I could ever hope for!

LIFE.... Fight for it!

LIFE.  When does it begin?  I guess I have never questioned that life began at the moment of conception but I really never planned to have such a heart for saving a life from that moment until the moment a child is born and beyond.

I know of people who have had abortions but not anyone close enough to me to talk about it.  I really have always wanted to know why or how it felt or how it felt when the did carry a baby to term.  All of these are not even questions that would be right to ask but I've thought about them.

Then a couple of years ago my husband and I attended a banquet for a local clinic to help women and families in crisis with a pregnancy.  At the time I was pregnant with our fourth child.  The pregnancy that was really not any less planned that our last but was more overwhelming due to the number and ages of our other children.  At that time we had a 2 year old and 7 month old twins.  I was an emotional basket case and didn't think this was the way it was supposed to be.  Which it was completely how it was supposed to be because God is good and she was part of His perfect plan.  Even though abortion NEVER crossed our minds, I felt like I could relate to women who were pregnant and felt hopeless.

We have financially supported this clinic ever since and continue to attend fund raising banquets however recently I have felt such a heart tucking from the Lord to become more involved.  Just after Christmas my friend gave me this book.  I couldn't put it down.  It answered some of my questions and I so feel Abby's passion!  Yesterday I gave the clinic a call and left a message stating that I have a heart to serve at the clinic personally.  I have no idea where this will lead but I am so excited to serve the Lord in this way.  Help save His creations and help their moms and families along the way!

Expanding Family

Hvidsten Christmas 2011, a photo by janelleh1 on Flickr.

I write this post as a person who is pretty sure I make a plan and then pray about it. I heard on the radio the other day, that rather than that we should pray about something first and then come up with a plan. It seems like a minor difference with huge differences in outcomes.

I love this picture of the cousins at Chistmas! They had such a good time together. You see get togethers are hard for me because I feel like I am always on alert.... which I am even if we are not in a group setting but anyway. This year seemed more relaxed. The kids came be trusted a little more, chairs aren't really an issue at this point and everyone can eat on there own and some even at their own table! Gift opening even went better, at least for me. There was one adult for every child so it didn't seem so chaotic; which was so nice!

Anyway, back to my previous thought. I am quite sure this group will be expanding. I can be pretty confident in this as my sister-in-law is expecting her third child at the end of April. Hopes are that Jack will have a boy to help him out with all these girls but one never knows; we could have the next cheerleading squad on our hands.... or basketball team.
Then there are Jay's two sister who will probably add to the numbers at some point too so it will be quite a group someday, as it is already.

This is where my planning then praying comes in. I have a plan... I thought. And I was all ready to pray about it and then I heard the message on the radio. Pray then plan. Oh my word. This should not be eye opening to me but it was. I think I very often plan and then pray. I knew I was to have our next child between February 2013 and February of 2014. I was quite sure. And now I'm back to the drawing board. But really I'm so much farther ahead... I know God already knows and I just have to pray to find out. What a relief!

So even though I'm clueless to whether or not I personally will add to these numbers; I do know that most importantly I have a heavenly Father to represent to the ones we already have and to continue to grow and mature in the relationship I have with him.

So enjoy gazing at these beautiful children and pray for me if you think about it as we continue to pray about God's plan for our family.

It beginning to look alot like Christmas!

I decided to go out and try for a Christmas card photo one afternoon.  It was actually quite cold and windy but the moment I mentioned outside to the kids there was no going back.  They were so good to work with but getting all four to look, smile and hold still for more than a milisecond was not possible.  But I still like the photos anyway.  They were outside which they LOVE and were laughing and hugging almost the whole time and that was worth the work it took to get them out there.  I also think it is such a representation of how are family is right now.  We try to work together but get sidetracked easily, we are happy but not always at the same time and often someone is a little out of focus and sometimes were are just watching one another with wonder.  So this is us... minus my husband and I of course but someone has to take the picture and someone has to provide for the family so this is where we were at this particular afternoon.

I also love watching my kids together when they are having fun.  It makes my heart hope they will always be close.  Early this week I had to go to GF to get groceries, Christmas presents and bring Julia to her 18 mo appointment.  On Mondays, my mother-in-law has some combination of 2 or 3 of the kids so I thought I would get a bunch of stuff done on this trip.  No, not so much.  My father-in-law was recovering from surgery on his foot and my mother-in-law did feel so well this past weekend so I was on my own.  Jay volunteer to have one of the kids be with him at work and while he made root beer with his family that day so Bekah was taken care of.  It ended up that my mom had an MRI sceduled at the same time as Julia's appointment so she was dropped off at my parents that morning and picked up by me at the hospital just in time for her appointment which worked out really well.  So Jack, Hannah and I headed off for GF.  These are the times I feel like we have fun together, adventures together and I hope that I will be able to do it with all four of them at the same time someday!  But let me tell you even though all went well, I was exhausted.  My main moment of panic was when we were in Macy's.  I, (not even thinking about my children copying my every move) noticed their Yearly crystal ornament ($75 value) hanging with 5 or 6 others on a metal display tree and cupped it in my hand for a better view.   Wrong move, seconds later Jack was about to do the same.  And even though he seemed to be approaching them with care, all I could do was quickly multiply 75 x6 and I didn't like the figure that popped into my mind and jumped to stop him as I didn't want the tree to topple over!  There was no disasters, little whining and really no major melt downs but it did take a lot out of me.  However it was so fun to see the fun the kids had together.  We looked at Christmas stuff in stores, spotted Santa and sang our own version of Jingle Bells in the isles of Target and it was a great Christmas time memory in the making.  Oh how I love these kids and hope they are learning to love the season that celebrates our Saviors birth!  So I will leave you with these photos in anticipation of the official Christmas photo and also a question of what family traditions are you forming for your family?  I want my children to remember our Christmas seasons so fondly.  I'm trying to come with my own.

Presents

I get stressed out during the holiday season now.  I really don't think that I used to do that.  I know that I had more time and less people to buy for just a few years ago but I don't think that's it.  I think my heart is changing but my actions are not changing with it.  I don't want stuff.  I don't want more.  I don't want to necessarily give more to my children.  I want to just give.  To see something that could really inspire someone or help someone in need and get it to give to them.  And maybe without them even knowing it was me who gave it to them.  Why do we make lists?  We don't need anything.  The world needs Christ and things that only He can give.  This is where I am at.... it is even stressful to make a list of things for people to buy me or my children, let alone to then receive a list and have to find the perfect match.  Why is my heart troubled?  I think we should make the most of Christ during Christmas... and maybe leave the crazy gift buying alone and just focus on others.  I have to pray about where God is leading my heart.  All I know is I want my life to mean something and not get caught up in the world's idea of what the meaning of Christmas is!  What are your Christmas gift giving traditions?